The Lovely Bones Kindle · The Lovely MOBI :↠

My name was Salmon like the fish first name Susie I was fourteen when I was murdered on December 6 1973So begins the story of Susie Salmon who is adjusting to her new home in heaven a place that is not at all what she expected even as she is watching life on earth continue without her her friends trading rumors about her disappearance her killer trying to cover his tracks her grief stricken family unraveling Out of unspeakable tragedy and loss The Lovely Bones succeeds miraculously in building a tale filled with hope humor suspense even joy


10 thoughts on “The Lovely Bones

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    The Lovely Bones has got to be the most baffling poorly written jaw droppingly bad book that I have ever set my eyes on It is truly a black black tragedy that the words in this book were placed in that particular order published and distributed How could this have ever possibly been popular? Is it for the same reason that the song “My Humps” hit number one? I mean I don’t technically believe in burning books but this novel really got me thinking About burning itIf it serves any use at all it might be a perfect guide on how not to write a book Here are some of my gripes problems and issues that we can hopefully use to prevent something like this from ever happening again to us our children or our children’s childrenIt is filled with some of the worst sentence level writing that I have ever encountered From bad description to horrible grammar to utterly confusing metaphors Sebold covered it all A tell tale way to spot a weak writer? They can’t stop weirdly describing people’s eyes Don’t believe me? Try this sentence “Her eyes were like flint and flower petals” Or this one “The tears came like a small relentless army approaching the front lines of her eyes She asked for coffee and toast in a restaurant and buttered it with her tears” Really? She buttered the coffee and toast with her tears? Or this one this time about someone’s heart “Her heart like a recipe was reduced” What the hell?And here’s my favorite eye description in the book “Her pupils dilated pulsing in and out like small ferocious olives” That’s right Ferocious olives I’ve read MadLibs that make sense than thatIt seems to lack a plot You know that thing that books are supposed to have I’ll never forget my first workshop with Brady Udall in which he threw my story onto the table and said “This isn’t a story Sarah it’s a situation” And as much as I despaired when I got home he was right Sebold has the same problem her book is a really long situation A girl dies and watches her family from heaven Okay That’s nice But what do the characters want? What drives the story forward? Nothing The characters get older and keep bumping into each other Things change and things often do but there is no forward movement and certainly no building of suspenseSince there’s no plot the ending is just a bunch of weird stuff happening I read the last thirty pages on the train this morning and couldn’t stop a few outbursts “Oh no she didn’t” I’d say talking to Alice Sebold and her crazy ways She is just plain bold when it comes to doing whatever she feels like and she feels like doing the weirdest stuff ever It’s not that I don’t want to write spoilers here it’s that I can’t even explain to you what happened at the end of the book And I bet she can’t either I’m not exaggeratingHer characters never have interesting or complex thoughts Not even the serial killer or the mother whose daughter was murdered It seems that Sebold’s characters do one of two things they laugh which means they are happy or cry to butter their toast somehow when they are sad As you might guess there is a lot of laughing and crying in this book When a character is confused they laugh and cry at the same time This also happens oftenI feel a little better after venting But I’m still deeply sad and angry I feel like my own writing might have been permanently damaged by reading this book like a couple of ferocious olives?